Nothing in the world will ever make you feel validated until you validate yourself.

 

Jeffrey Pang from Berkeley, CA, USA - Inspiration Lake

Wikimedia.org

....................................................................................................

 

I Went A Decade Without Dating. Here's What Happened

 

by Kerissa KuisDecember 19, 2015 5:22 AM Save  
 

Ten years ago, my life was a complete mess.

I was 25 years old, my grandmother was dying, and my Adderall use was quickly becoming an addiction. I was in a world of debt, and losing friends fast. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, the man I loved started cheating on me and my relationship ended in violence.

Up until that point, I'd never had good experiences with dating. My previous relationships had created a yearning for validation that ruled me mentally, physically, and emotionally. They caused me to feel weak, inadequate, and worthless in every aspect of life.

I would constantly attract men who did not appreciate my value because I did not appreciate my own self-worth at the time.

I knew I needed to learn to love myself the way that I wanted someone else to love me. But I didn't know how.

  

One night when things were at their worst, I was walking toward my condo and saw a book sitting on a bench. I could feel a distinct energy drawing me toward the text, and I stood frozen when I saw the words "fourth deadly sin" on its cover. When I opened the book, I saw that it was talking about lust. I'm a spiritual person, and I took the text as a sign that I needed to stop putting my relationships before God and myself.

I decided to let go of relationships altogether, and I made a commitment never to date again. I told myself that fulfilling my purpose was far more important than anything I could gain from a romantic partnership. Intimacy was something I thought I would never have again, and I was totally okay with that.

I avoided situations in which I could be hit on — I stopped going out and barely communicated with members of the opposite sex unless they were married or in a serious relationship. I built a wall around myself that was so high that I had no idea how anyone could ever break it down. Intimacy simply wasn’t an option, so my entire life became about working to create a business. I began developing courses for life coaches and eventually started traveling near and far to teach at wellness retreats.

Read More Here

The Unexpected Gifts of Imperfection

The No-Gimmicks, No-Hype Health & Fitness Magazine

 

Experience Life Staff · December 2015

By confronting our scarier emotions — vulnerability, fear, and shame — we can learn to lead a more “wholehearted” life. Brené Brown shows us the way.

The toughest moments in life rarely feel like gifts. Whether it’s losing a job, struggling through a foundering relationship, or witnessing the death of a loved one, experiences that bring us to our knees tend to trigger our defenses, not our wisdom.

And yet, when we humble ourselves enough to open up during awful times — accepting that we’re vulnerable rather than lashing out or collapsing in despair — we’re primed to receive “the gifts of imperfection,” explains best-selling author Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW.

These rewards — courage, compassion, and connection — are not given to the faint of heart, notes Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work who has spent more than a dozen years studying vulnerability, worthiness, and shame.

It’s tough stuff, she believes, to embrace vulnerability — what she describes as “the core of all emotions and feelings.” Yet, in her view, this is a path that leads straight to heartfelt joy.
“Don’t get me wrong. I’d love to skip over the hard stuff, but it just doesn’t work,” she writes in The Gifts of Imperfection.

“We don’t change, we don’t grow, and we don’t move forward without the work [of being vulnerable]. If we really want to live a joyful, connected, and meaningful life, we must talk about the things that get in the way,” she notes. (For more on this, see “The Myth of Vulnerability,” below.)
So how do we confront the obstacles to meaning and intimacy? How do we practice vulnerability without crumpling or becoming dependent? What does it mean to live life “wholeheartedly,” as Brown puts it, embracing not just our successes but also our failures as opportunities for growth and connection?

Brown has devoted her career to helping people answer these questions. In her popular books — I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t), The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, and her most recent, Rising Strong — she reminds us that getting real with difficulty means we can get real with anything.

Read More Here

Love In Practice: Communicating With Care In Your Heart

 

Collective Evolution

November 30, 2015 by Peter Russell.

 

 

In all communication, there is one thing that each and every one of us requires. We all want to be appreciated, honoured, and respected. None of us want to feel criticized, rejected, ignored, or manipulated. To reduce it to its simplest terms, we each want to feel loved. I do not mean love in a romantic sense, or some outpouring of emotion, but simple caring. This is the universal bottom line of every human relationship. We all want to feel cared for.

If each of us would like to be treated with care and respect, then it should be our intent to do so for others. But what often happens is the exact opposite. Instead of trying to ensure that the other person feels loved and appreciated, we end up in a vicious circle of recrimination and attack.
It usually starts by our feelings hurt over something someone said or did. Whether they intended to hurt us or whether it is all our own creation does not matter. The fact is we feel hurt, and if we are not fully conscious of our own inner processes, we are likely to defend ourselves by attacking back in some way. It’s not the most noble or wisest response, nevertheless that is the way us less-than-enlightened folk sometimes react.

We may respond with a cutting remark or criticism, a resentful tone of voice, a shift in body language, or simply by making no response at all. Whatever form it takes, the underlying intention is that the other person should feel just a little hurt—not much, not enough to disrupt the relationship, but sufficient that the other person should not feel totally, one hundred per cent, loved.





But if the other person is also less than enlightened, their response to a perceived attack will probably be similar to ours. They will probably attack back, and do or say something intended to make us feel a little hurt and not totally loved.

So the vicious circle begins. It may not always be that obvious. On the surface it often looks as if the relationship is going well; both people are friendly, with no open hostility. But underneath, a sad game is being played out. Each person, in their attempts to have the other person behave in a more loving manner, is actually withholding love from the other. It is little wonder that many couples end up in therapy.

Read More Here

10 Shocking Facts About Society That We Absurdly Accept As Normal

 

Collective Evolution

August 25, 2014 by Joe Martino.

 

+

When you take a moment and look around at the world, things can seem pretty messed up. Take 5 or 10 minutes and watch the 6 o’clock news. Chances are, the entire time, all you are going to see is war, conflict, death, illness, etc. Sure, this is part of the mainstream media’s content strategy to sell drama and keep people focused on it, but besides that, it reveals something real about the current state of our world.

I believe Michael Ellner said it well in his quote: “Just look at us. Everything is backwards, everything is upside down. Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, psychiatrists destroy minds, scientists destroy truth, major media destroys information, religions destroy spirituality and governments destroy freedom.”

Now obviously Ellner’s quote is a simplified way of looking at our current state, but in many ways it’s bang on. Most of what we do in the name of “good” ends up destroying something else in the process and is passed off mainly in the name of profit.

Read More Here

Banned TED Talk: The Science Delusion - Rupert Sheldrake at TEDx Whitechapel

     

Tom Huston

..........

..........

Published on Mar 16, 2013

Re-uploaded (again, just in case), since TED's Chris Anderson censored Rupert Sheldrake, along with Graham Hancock, and removed this video and Hancock's from the TEDx YouTube channel. They dared question the Scientistic Orthodoxy, and for that they have been publicly castigated and defamed. Follow this link for TED's dubious statement on the matter (and the many comments appropriately critical of TED's rationale):
http://blog.ted.com/2013/03/14/open-f...

Presumably TED disavows any copyright claim, as they've disavowed association with the videos.

BIO:
Rupert Sheldrake, Ph.D. (born 28 June 1942) is a biologist and author of more than 80 scientific papers and ten books. A former Research Fellow of the Royal Society, he studied natural sciences at Cambridge University, where he was a Scholar of Clare College, took a double first class honours degree and was awarded the University Botany Prize. He then studied philosophy and history of science at Harvard University, where he was a Frank Knox Fellow, before returning to Cambridge, where he took a Ph.D. in biochemistry. He was a Fellow of Clare College, Cambridge, where he was Director of Studies in biochemistry and cell biology. As the Rosenheim Research Fellow of the Royal Society, he carried out research on the development of plants and the ageing of cells in the Department of Biochemistry at Cambridge University.

While at Cambridge, together with Philip Rubery, he discovered the mechanism of polar auxin transport, the process by which the plant hormone auxin is carried from the shoots towards the roots.

From 1968 to 1969, based in the Botany Department of the University of Malaya, Kuala Lumpur, he studied rain forest plants. From 1974 to 1985 he was Principal Plant Physiologist and Consultant Physiologist at the International Crops Research Institute for the Semi-Arid Tropics (ICRISAT) in Hyderabad, India, where he helped develop new cropping systems now widely used by farmers. While in India, he also lived for a year and a half at the ashram of Fr Bede Griffiths in Tamil Nadu, where he wrote his first book, A New Science of Life.

From 2005-2010 he was the Director of the Perrott-Warrick Project funded from Trinity College,Cambridge. He is a Fellow of Schumacher College , in Dartington, Devon, a Fellow of the Institute of Noetic Sciences near San Francisco, and a Visiting Professor at the Graduate Institute in Connecticut.

He lives in London with his wife Jill Purce and two sons.

He has appeared in many TV programs in Britain and overseas, and was one of the participants (along with Stephen Jay Gould, Daniel Dennett, Oliver Sacks, Freeman Dyson and Stephen Toulmin) in a TV series called A Glorious Accident, shown on PBS channels throughout the US. He has often taken part in BBC and other radio programmes. He has written for newspapers such as the Guardian, where he had a regular monthly column, The Times, Sunday Telegraph, Daily Mirror, Daily Mail, Sunday Times, Times Educational Supplement, Times Higher Education Supplement and Times Literary Supplement, and has contributed to a variety of magazines, including New Scientist, Resurgence, the Ecologist and the Spectator.

Books by Rupert Sheldrake:

A New Science of Life: The Hypothesis of Formative Causation (1981). New edition 2009 (in the US published as Morphic Resonance)

The Presence of the Past: Morphic Resonance and the Habits of Nature (1988)

The Rebirth of Nature: The Greening of Science and God (1992)
Seven Experiments that Could Change the World: A Do-It-Yourself Guide to Revolutionary Science (1994) (Winner of the Book of the Year Award from the British Institute for Social Inventions)

Dogs that Know When Their Owners are Coming Home, and Other Unexplained Powers of Animals (1999) (Winner of the Book of the Year Award from the British Scientific and Medical Network)

The Sense of Being Stared At, And Other Aspects of the Extended Mind (2003)

The Science Delusion (2012, published in the US as Science Set Free)

http://www.sheldrake.org/

....................................................................................................

Rupert Sheldrake on the TED controversy

ThunderboltsProject

..........

..........

Published on May 11, 2013

Dr. Rupert Sheldrake discusses TED's controversial decision to remove his talk from their YouTube channel. Rupert's response to TED and its anonymous scientific board may be read on the official TED blog: http://blog.ted.com/2013/03/14/open-f...

On his website, in the "Controversies" section, Rupert has documented many instances when he's been forced to publicly respond to false and defamatory statements by leading "skeptics": http://www.sheldrake.org/D&C/cont...

How To Quiet Your Mind In Even The Loudest Settings

Collective Evolution

October 24, 2015 by Peter Russell.

The building where I used to run a meditation group was on the same street as a fire station; one could almost guarantee that sometime during the meditation a fire engine would come rushing past, sirens wailing. Not surprisingly, people would afterwards complain: “How could I meditate with that going on?”

How often have we felt something similar? There’s an unspoken assumption that the mind can only become quiet if the world around it is quiet. We imagine the ideal meditation setting to be somewhere far from the madding crowd—a retreat deep in a forest, a peaceful chapel, or the quiet of one’s own bedroom, perhaps. It is much harder for the mind to settle down in a noisy environment. Or is it?

I suggested to the group that the next time a fire engine came blasting by they look within and explore whether the sound really was that disturbing? After the following meditation, a participant reported how the noise no longer seemed a problem; it was there, but it didn’t disturb her. The disturbance, she realized, came not from the sound itself, but from wishing it weren’t there.

This was the essence of Buddha’s realization 2,500 years ago. We all experience what he called dukkha. The word is conventionally translated as “suffering,” but in Pali, the language of Buddha’s time, dukkha is the negation of the word sukha, meaning “at ease.” So dukkha might more generally be translated as not-at-ease, or discontent—an experience we all can relate to.

Read More Here

The Real Reason Why You Haven't Healed Your Trauma/Depression/Heartbreak

 
John E Goadby
Wikimedia.org
..........

Huffpost Healthy Living

 

Natasha Che
Teacher, Writer, Inspirer of Humanity

 

The prevailing psychological wisdom of our time tells you that your current dysfunctions are probably a result of your past experiences, e.g., your painful childhood, your stupid parents, your abusive first love, and the wars, famines, and hurricanes you were forced by fate to go through. If you're metaphysically inclined, you may even believe that your present pain has its roots in a past life, a past past life, a past past past life. (By the way, after talking to many who claim to have recovered memories from past lives, I can assure you that nobody on earth has ever had a great life in the past. Since there's nothing new under the Sun, it's safe to assume that a great life will not exist in the future, either. So you can stop looking now.)
You were told that healing from past pains would get you happiness. But if you're reading this, you probably have been on the "healing path" for a long time, under the assumption that once you heal your past, you'd finally find fulfillment and freedom. That was how I looked at my life, for a long time. I went from one healing modality to another, on a quest for the Holy Grail that would bestow bliss to eternity.
Such a quest is useful, until it is not. After years of professional counseling, shamanic sessions, cleansing retreats, and chocolate cake fixes, I realized that the healing journey simply would not end on its own. If you look for them, you can always find traumas in yourself, old and new, to be healed and cleansed. A completely healed human is a mythological construct. And the quest for healing can be a rat race that is easy to get on, but hard to step off.

Read More Here

Proof That the Human Body is a Projection of Consciousness

April 16, 2014 | By WakingTimes  

Brandon West, Contributor

Waking Times

In this article we will explore how your body is a holographic projection of your consciousness, and how you directly influence that hologram and thus have complete control over the physical health of your body. We will also specifically explore the exact mechanism behind this principle, and don’t worry, I will provide scientific evidence so let your rational mind be at ease. But first … how is this even possible?

Human Thought Determines Reality

One of the key principles of quantum physics is that our thoughts determine reality. Early in the 1900′s they proved this beyond a shadow of a doubt with an experiment called the double slit experiment. They found that the determining factor of the behavior of energy (‘particles’) at the quantum level is the awareness of the observer.

For example: electrons under the same conditions would sometimes act like particles, and then at other times they would switch to acting like waves (formless energy), because it was completely dependent on what the observer expected was going to happen. Whatever the
observed believed would occur is what the quantum field did.

The quantum world is waiting for us to make a decision so that it knows how to behave. That is why quantum physicists have such difficulties in dealing with, explaining, and defining the quantum world. We are truly, in every sense of the word, masters of creation because we decide what manifests out of the field of all-possibility and into form.

The thing is, the quantum level of reality isn’t a local and insignificant aspect of creation. It is all around us, and it is the most fundamental level of creation aside from the unified field itself. The human energy field is interacting and influencing the quantum field all around us at all times and the energy of our beliefs and intentions are infused into our energy field because they are defined by the energy of our thoughts and emotions.

Thus the fusion of our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and intentions, which I will call the human energy field for simplicity’s sake, is perpetually informing the quantum reality within us and around us at each moment of our existence.

And because reality is flashing in and out of existence (hypothetically at Planck time – 10⁴⁴ times per second – as explained by The Resonance Project biophysicist William Brown), every time our reality oscillates between form, and the pure energy state of the field, our awareness which is constant and doesn’t flash in and out of existence informs the field what to reappear as when it makes its transition back to form at the quantum level.

Therefore each time we oscillate into formlessness, we have complete and total control and responsibility over what we choose with our attention to manifest out of the field in the next moment, and our power and ability to do so relies entirely what we believe, and on how we are feeling.

A dramatic example of this is the case of Vittorio Michelli. In 1962 he was admitted to the Military Hospital of Verona, Italy with a large tumor on his left hip. The doctors knew that they could not help him, so his case was deemed hopeless and he was sent home without treatment, and after about 10 months his left hip bone had completely disintegrated. As a last resort, he traveled to Lourdes, France and bathed himself in the spring there (which is a Christian holy site famous for producing miracles).
Immediately he started feeling better, he regained his appetite, and bathed himself in the spring a few more times before he left. After a few months of being home he felt such a powerful sense of well-being that he urged the doctors to x-ray him again, and they were astonished to find that his tumor had shrunk. Over the next several months they kept a close watch on him, and his X-rays showed that his tumor kept on shrinking, until it was gone. And once his tumor disappeared, his hipbone started regenerating.

After two months he was walking again, and several years later his hip bone had completely regenerated. The Vatican’s Medical Commission, in their official report said:

“A remarkable reconstruction of the iliac bone and cavity has taken place. The X-rays made in 1964, 1965, 1968, and 1969 confirm categorically and without doubt that an unforeseen and even overwhelming bone reconstruction has taken place of a type unknown in the annals of world medicine.” (The Holographic Universe, p.107)

Ordinarily this would be deemed miraculous, and indeed it truly is. But I find this miraculous in the sense of the true power of human intention and belief that it displays. Moreover, this is powerful evidence that suggests that there is an energetic structure which our ‘material bodies’ align with, because that is one of the only logical explanations for how Vittorio Michelli’s hip bone knew exactly which shape to grow back into unless there was some sort of energetic blueprint which was instructing its growth, which as the Vatican’s Medical Commission clearly stated, was “unknown in the annals of world medicine.”

In medicine, maybe this was unknown, but the same cannot be said for physics. At the atomic level atoms bond with one another to form molecules which have specific geometric structures as if there is an energetic blueprint which they are adhering to which dictates the shapes they maintain together.
If our bodies are a projection of consciousness, then our consciousness would create an energetic blueprint which our atoms and molecules align with to create our bodies. There is highly suggestive evidence of the existence of this energetic blueprint (or human energy field) in the new research on DNA which proves that it transmits, receives, and thus reads energy directly from the field.
Michelli’s case is a perfect example of our human ability to re-organize that vacuum structure with our energy and intentions, and thus manifest what we desire directly out of the field for truly miraculous results. The fact that he started to feel better and started to believe that he was healed is, I suggest, the key to his healing.

Some may want to stick with the belief that God healed this man, and I would agree to you. But you and I would probably disagree on the nature of this God. For I contend that you are god, as are we all, because the force we call God is the energy and infinite consciousness behind creation, and thus when we tap into ourselves as pure consciousness, i.e. without thought through meditation, then we open ourselves to the infinitude of our own awareness because we inseparably are that infinite creative consciousness. We are it and it is us.

And when we open up to that energy, we allow ourselves to be flooded with a “powerful sense of well-being” and knowing which has astounding power to create reality, and directly affects our biology.



Read More Here

Related articles

• Proof That the Human Body is a Projection of Consciousness
• The Team via Peggy Black: You Affect the Quantum Field
• Quantum Physics Explains How Your Thoughts Create Reality
• Beyond the Five Senses: The Powers Latent in Humankind

louise hay - assisting in your own healing

Paul Miller

Magical Mind & Body by Deepak Chopra Audio Book

Movies And Audioboks

Published on Oct 8, 2013

Please like and share this if you like this audio-book. Also, do click on ads to help me earn revenue.
With Magical Mind, Magical Body, Dr. Chopra helps listeners to uncover the healing power of the mind and utilize th epower of quantum healing to gain a perfect balance of mind, body and spirit.
In Magical Mind, Magical Body, Dr. Deepak Chopra shows you how to reconstruct the blueprint of your body so that you can enjoy perfect health, higher levels of energy and vitality, and enhanced inner peace. This revolutionary approach tells how you can achieve these results through the power of your mind.
Chopra explains the "quantum mechanical body" -- a level where thought is turned into physical reality. He tells you how to harness these new insights to make your cells think, and your thoughts move healing energy. In doing so, you will create the kind of health and mental state that you desire

Be The Change : Maysoon Zayid: I got 99 problems... palsy is just one

TED

Published on Jan 3, 2014

"I have cerebral palsy. I shake all the time," Maysoon Zayid announces at the beginning of this exhilarating, hilarious talk. (Really, it's hilarious.) "I'm like Shakira meets Muhammad Ali." With grace and wit, the Arab-American comedian takes us on a whistle-stop tour of her adventures as an actress, stand-up comic, philanthropist and advocate for the disabled.

TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more.
Find closed captions and translated subtitles in many languages at http://www.ted.com/translate
Follow TED news on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/tednews
Like TED on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TED

Related articles

• TED: Maysoon Zayid: I got 99 problems... palsy is just one - Maysoon Zayid (2013)
• Comedian Talks About Living Her Life To The Fullest Despite Having Cerebral Palsy (Video)

Shame On You - These Three Simple Words Can Destroy An Individual's Sense of Self-Worth

March 16, 2014 by JOSH RICHARDSON

Prevent Disease

Words have a dramatic effect on how we interact with people and the decisions we ultimately make. They can influence us, inspire us and just as easily bring us to tears, affect our confidence and self-esteem. Shame on you. These three simple words can temporarily -- or, when used too often, permanently -- destroy an individual’s sense of value and self-worth.








“In modernity, shame is the most obstructed and hidden emotion, and therefore the most destructive,” said Thomas Scheff, professor emeritus of sociology at UC Santa Barbara. “Emotions are like breathing -- they cause trouble only when obstructed.”
In complex decisions of "right" and "wrong," our emotions may get the last word, but the words we hear make us judge ourselves. Particular emotional centers in the brain charge up when the dilemmas involve insults from others.
When hidden, he continued, shame causes serious struggles not only for individuals but also for groups. In an article published in the current issue of the journal Cultural Sociology, Scheff examines the ubiquity of hidden shame and suggests it may be one of the keys to understanding contemporary society.
According to Scheff a society that fosters individualism (ours, for example) provides a ripe breeding ground for the emotion of shame because people are encouraged to “go it alone, no matter the cost to relationships,” he said. “People learn to act as if they were complete in themselves and independent of others. This feature has constructive and creative sides, but it has at least two other implications: alienation and the hiding of shame.”
Scheff noted that while shame is no less prevalent now than in previous years or decades or generations, it is more hidden. “Shame is a biological entity like other emotions, but people are more ashamed of it than they are of the others,” he said. “The hiding of emotions is more widespread in modern societies than in traditional ones.”
Our ego identification comes through many emotions, so we must take steps to ensure that our actions are coming from a position of kindess and loved rather than the learned sense of responsibility that we place upon ourselves for the judgements of others.


Read More Here

Related articles

• Coping with hidden shame
• Is modern society making us feel ASHAMED? Pressure to be successful causes us to hide failure and humiliation
• Self Worth can be Destroyed by Telling Someone 'Shame on You'
• The World of Hidden Emotions
• Skype interview with Tom Scheff on Shame

How Returning a Rescue Dog Made Me Re-Think Who I Am

Healthy Living

• Amy Ahlers
• February 22, 2014

I was blown away by the incredible, inspiring, and compassionate responses after writing a post about returning our dog, Rocky Blue, to his rescue group. After six months and with a baby on the way, we just knew he wasn’t a good fit for our home, resulting in my heartbreaking decision. (Of course I received some emails and responses from people that were outraged or felt like they didn’t want to be in my community anymore. And I honor that too … I knew it was a risk and am still proud I told the truth about my experience.)

The very day we dropped off Rocky Blue at the rescue group’s adoption fair, he was adopted by a young woman who fell in love with him. YES! That means that he never had one night without a home. And I know in my heart he was meant to be with us as our teacher for 6 months and is now settling into his forever home. I’m eternally grateful when The Universe conspires like this.

Among the dozens of lessons this experience has taught me, one in particular stands out: the idea of who we THINK we are. The story of who our ego tries to convince us we are and when we bump up against a situation or challenge that pushes us outside our perceived identity, it kind of … well … messes us up.

For me, I never thought in a million years I’d be the type of person to return a rescue dog to a rescue group.

The act of doing just that shattered a part of my identity and had me look at myself differently. I had an “Inner Mean Girl attack,” where my Inner Critic raked me over the coals for a day or so. (Thank goodness I have so many tools to help!) When we commit an act that feels contrary to who we think we are we open ourselves up to some very harsh Big Fat Lies. (i.e. “I should be better than this.” “I hate people who do things like this and now that person is ME!” etc.)

But it also showed me what my highest priorities truly are: to honor my husband, to honor my family, and to honor my limits. (Guess I’m not superwoman after all. DARN!) And it allows me to have access to compassion that I didn’t even know existed. I stop the harsh judgments of others who have done such things and realize that I can never know what others are going through.

This “who you think you are” phenomenon can also work when we do things beyond what we perceive our limitations are.

Read More and participate in the exercise Here